Date:	2005-11-03 14:28
Subject:	New entry in a new journal
Security:	Public
Mood:	anticipatory

I thought it was about time I got an LJ. I've had an Open Diary for a long time, but have not really written in it lately. (if you're interested in reading my old diary for some reason, it can be found at http://www.opendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A243736 ) Nobody I know uses OD any more, but a bunch of people have LJ's. So, here I am, jumping on the bandwagon.

I've been meaning to journal more- I used to write every day. I bought a new paper journal every few months, at one time, and now, I've barely touched mine since I got back from vacation this summer. I wrote a bit while I was in Quebec, but before and after, there was a lull.
Lately, I'm not sure if I haven't had anything to say, or if I just haven't felt like being so open with myself.. I think that journalling requires honesty. Sometimes I write things I didn't realize I felt until I see the words in front of me. Generally speaking, this is helpful, but sometimes I just don't feel like engaging in self-inquiry. Not writing is an avoidance tactic for me.
However, I have been doing this avoid-dance with myself for awhile, and it's not really getting me anywhere. So I'm going to try to write more. I feel out of touch with myself.

Today, I'm at Chris' place. I slept over, but did not sleep well. He's at work now. I hate when he leaves for work in the morning.. I wake up when he gets out of bed, or when he leans in to kiss me goodbye, and I get a brief feeling of elation.. that just-opened-my-eyes-to-the-world-and-HEY!-I-have-a-boyfriend feeling..... aaaannnnnnd then he departs. I have more days off than he does. I would like to work more. (not just so I can leave with him more frequently, more practically, I could use the money.)

Chris took an hour lunch break, and came home to see me. We ate some fried veggie sausages and frozen french fries. I'm still kind of hungry. I would like some fruit, but he doesn't have any- I frequently tease him about having scurvy, because he doesn't usually have fruit. He's even worse for consistent grocery shopping than I am. I bought some pomegranate juice last night, and some mango lemonade.. I wish I hadn't already drank it. I'm thirsty too. Water will do. I would go out and pick up something fruity for eating or drinking, or both, but I don't have a key to get back into the apartment. Meh.

He said he'd like it if I was here when he got off, too. That's why I'm still here, typing away the afternoon- only a little more than an hour to go. We made plans to have a shower together, followed by some 'rogering', when he gets back. I'm rapt with anticipation. ;)

After that, I would like to buy some groceries and cook a nice dinner for us, and go to my place and watch 'the Ring 2', while snuggling profusely, and to fit some laundry in there somewhere. I would like to have a nice, contented, relaxing day off today.

I also need to go buy some food for my snake.. I recently discovered that the temperatures were not right in her vivarium (damn unreliable stick-on crap thermometers!) and so she's been on a hunger strike the last couple times I offered food.. but I'm hoping that now that the temps are fixed, she'll take it. I found a guy in Edmonton who gets frozen rats in large quantities and sells them for cheap. It's illegal to breed them in Alberta, so the pet store prices are ridiculous. I went to a one last week where they charge $20 for a large rat.. the small ones that I currently feed are $7; this guy sells them for $3. I'm hoping to go see him tonight and get a bunch.

I feel like stopping writing now. I was going to write, "I don't have anything else to say", but that wouldn't really be true. I have plenty of things to say, I just don't feel like saying them at this time. So, I guess that's it for now.